Dreams

A long time ago (well, it was about 2 years ago), I had a dream that I was giving birth in the spring/summer, in a birthing pool in a garage. The sun was high in the sky, it was quite warm (must of been over 22 degrees celsius for me to think it was warm) and dry and peaceful.

I take my vivid dreams quite seriously, and this one confused me. As I was currently pregnant, due in autumn when it is quite cold where I live and we didn't have a garage. I was hoping to have a water birth though and we had purchased our own water birth pool. (Didn't get that water birth, but that's another story.)

Fast track to now, we live in a different town, where the summers are quite hot. We have a garage! and the layout/feel of everything seems the same as it did in my dream.

When I had my last two missed miscarriages I still held onto hope that I'd be having a baby this coming summer and it would play out as my dream suggested. Well now my hope has been dashed as I'm still not pregnant and the window for a baby next summer has past.

The thing I hate about dreams is you get absolutely no context of when they are actually going to happen. There is no timeline.

For instance, I knew from the moment I looked into my husbands eyes that we were going to spend our lives together. So when it all turned to custard 2 years into our relationship I was beyond devastated. I lost faith in myself and all things I believed to be true. But then we got back together a year later after we had both grown up a bit.

So, now I still trust in what I see. I just had to learn the hard way that there is always a path to get to that destination and it may just be a hard road.

CD72 / 13?DPO